She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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