it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
well you can't waste a boner
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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