Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
