I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
