Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize