If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
