yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
a search helicopter?!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i think my cat just said my name.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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