They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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