HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
