I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
