I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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