Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
