If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
