Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
