why didn't you poke me back
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
