To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
