I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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