I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
false alarm, still single
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