Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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