Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
