i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I smell stomach acid.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
