Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
