You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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