Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
