dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
two words: eviction party
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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