it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
