When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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