wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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