I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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