He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I am naked and annoyed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
