whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
