Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
