Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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