And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
