I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
we should paint friendship bongs
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