Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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