I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
