they need to just BURY HIM!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
