The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
im drinking this country out of the recession.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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