when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
