dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
