it wasn't lemon gatorade
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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