Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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