Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
