her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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