Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
