I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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