dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
