cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
