I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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