there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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