My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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