I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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