Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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