come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
