im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I am available for nakedness
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
