We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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