What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
