I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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