btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize