no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
