So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
