Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
