you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
