I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
