When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
