so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
