just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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