I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
